Moscow misfire

In the fashion that makes some politicians scream bloody murder and others delight in Friday afternoon document dumps, Mrs. Mueller’s boy Bobby began the arduous job of extricating his battered legacy from RussiaGate yesterday.

The silence we hear today is the absence of apologies from the rabid left, which now pivots on a dime from unbridled admiration to total disdain for Special Prosecutor Mueller.

Special Prosecutor and former FBI chief Robert Mueller ponders, “Why me?”

The clamor we hear today is from the indignant right, which has replaced “Gestapo like tactics” with “unassailable objectivity” in describing Mueller’s two-year investigation.

That incessant, annoying tweet we hear today is from the President of the United States of America, gloating like the petulant embarrassment he so often is.

The whirring sounds we hear today are political hacks spinning their wheels — and the facts — in attempts to convince us that Donald Trump is an Eagle Scout or a felonious unindicted conspirator. He is neither, and reasonable people know it.

With any luck, folks to the right of Nancy Pelosi and left of Rush Limbaugh can see all of this for what it is: not a Republican victory over Democrats, or a Trump victory over his many detractors, but the desperate attempt of a democracy to right itself.

Mueller’s two-year probe found no evidence of collusion between Trump, his campaign, and Russians. None. Not so much as a bottle of Russian salad dressing on Air Force One. Not one Russian fingerprint on a single voting machine. Not one “nyet” vote on a single local issue. No cocktail napkins with private numbers for Vlad’s favorite Moscow nymphets

So Mueller’s marathon was indeed a witch hunt of sorts. The handful of Trump associates who were indicted and convicted were so adjudged for so-called process crimes and actions unrelated to alleged Russian collusion or to President Trump. In English, they got swept up, chewed on and spit out for our legal entertainment. They were the rocks turned over in search of more juicy misdeeds. They were collateral damage. Wrong place, wrong time, fellas. Sorry about that.

Paul Manafort will serve roughly a year for every week he worked for Donald Trump.

The GOP can loudly proclaim the defeat of a witch hunt, while Dems tear their garments and wonder who got to their no longer favorite son Mueller. If you’re keeping score objectively, the Republicans are indeed the winners in this particular chapter of a disgusting political saga. But next time the roles may well be reversed, and it will be elephants stuck in the muck, not donkeys.

There is little truth and few true winners when politics get filthy. If everyone in need of a bath in Washington actually took one, Moses and the 12 tribes could stroll across the Potomac without getting their sandals wet.

Washington winners love to quote Barack Obama’s proclamation that “Elections have consequences.” Washington losers hate to admit it’s true. But it is. Our nation managed to get along for nearly 250 years using the one and only correct method of changing course. We call them elections. It’s time they regain the respect of winners and losers alike.

In 2016, the nation’s major parties laboriously searched through 330 million Americans and produced Donald J. Trump and Hillary Rodham Clinton as their standard bearers. That, my friends, is nothing short of an embarrassment. But it’s our embarrassment, and we don’t wear it very well.

Never have Americans been given a better opportunity to vote “Neither of the Above” than in 2016.

I can hear the howls when I point out that Donald Trump is my president … and yours. But he is, and will continue to be until January of 2021 … or 2025. Elections have consequences.

My fondest wish is that half as much effort would go into governing as political bickering. Don’t like Trump? Fine and dandy. Get yourself a candidate you believe in and help her or him replace The Donald in 2020. But if your candidate loses, act like an American. There’s no crying in baseball or presidential politics. Lick your wounds, prepare for next time, and please — if only for a while — quit whining, shut up and see what the winner can do.

What a glorious opportunity this is for Democrats to admit they were wrong, and maybe even apologise. But they won’t. They’ll double down and continue down Hatred Lane even though it’s a dead end street.

What a glorious opportunity for President Trump to act presidential and go a week or two without dissing not only Democrats but the occasional dead Republican war hero. But he won’t. He’s a thin-skinned counterpuncher who never walked away from a fight or admitted losing one, and the cost of winning be damned.

The 2020 election draws near. So beware shiny objects flashed at you from the back seats of limos and private jets. That’s just politicians trying to distract you from their gutless, party-dictated voting records. Maybe it’s time to turn out the rascals as a reminder that elections have consequences, and that We the People hold all the votes.

Postscript: Agree or disagree with his methods or his report, Robert Mueller played his cards close to the vest and refused to take the bait from either side over the past two years. He has an ability to ignore flack and press on regardless that hasn’t been seen in DC since George W. Bush.

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