Musings

Tuesday XII March MMXIX

“Musings” at Born to Blog are observations, opinions and assorted pithy pontification from a guy who, truth be told, doesn’t much like the Pontiff. I don’t know if this stuff will interest or amuse anyone, but it sure helps clear my “Miscellaneous Crap” folder. If you like it, look around for a suitable icon or thumb that’s not in my nose and click it, like it, share it, etc. If you don’t like it, gimme a break: I’m old and it’s a free site. “Musings” will appear again next time my folder overflows. No telling when that might be.

Bart Simpson did what???

My niece Liz (aka Jacque) Bernard inspired this one, but the offensive parts are all mine. Baby Boomers survived caustic humor from the likes of Lenny Bruce and Don Rickles without developing self-image issues. Those of us who are cool for our age (but not cool enough to know the difference between LGBTQ and XYZ) secretly enjoy The Simpsons, Family Guy and South Park, right along with Generations L, B, G, T & Q and the X, Y & Z Communities. Conservatives like me seldom agree with Jon Stewart or Bill Maher, but we know funny when we hear it, and they are flat funny.

To the point. How in the name of Andy Kaufman and George Carlin can people who like Bart Simpson; people who are glad Kenny got killed; people who consider Stewie Griffin a role model; be so thin-skinned? Anything seems to go with post Boomer generations except disagreement. It’s not “Why can’t we all get along, but “Why can’t we all squeeze into the same cookie cutter.” These aren’t consensus builders, they’re consensus junkies.

Hey, kids. Consensus is a mythical concept. You can argue without busting a gasket, and just you wait: When you finally figure out how badly my generation has screwed yours, there will be more important things to be mad about.

Don Rickles: Only man with intact kneecaps to have insulted Frank Sinatra.

In a similar vein, old friend Eric Lundquist forwarded a link to an interesting New York Times opinion piece. Now, you have to remember that since the death of journalism early this century, every story in the New York Times has become an opinion piece. The rarity of this particular story is that I agreed with it once I waded through the requisite tedious brainiac ramblings. The point came down to this wonderful piece of advice to all Americans from all generations and communities: We don’t need to disagree less, we need to disagree better. Can I get an Amen?

CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

Seems like half the country has its dander up over, of all things, Daylight Savings Time. The other half can’t tell time on an analog clock, but is pretty sure it’s worried. And this warrants national news coverage?

If you’ve flown from Chicago to New York, Atlanta to Nashville, Dallas to Albuquerque or Denver to San Francisco, you’ve endured the horrible, life-altering effects of a one-time-zone change. C’mon, guys. The only real problem with a movement of one time zone is confusion over when Fox and Friends or Morning Joe comes on.

If I’ve learned a lot about anything in my time on Earth, it’s about travel.
Been there, done that. A lot. I’ve been in or flown through each and every one of our globe’s menacing time zones multiple times. And I’m here to posit that although jet lag is very much real, it takes more than a one-hour change to upset a cart of REM apples. Experts will spew about melatonin and circadian rhythms ad nauseum. But if moving one time zone places a physical or emotional strain on you, you might find ignoring Dr. Drew will help more than a 5-Hour Energy Shot.

So, Spring forward! By all means, Fall Back! But save your worries for dangers that are real, like zombies and werewolves.

DUDE!
That Minneapolis to St. Paul flight is a killer!

Can’t speak for you, but I believe the very concept of Hate Crimes is an unnecessary offshoot of identity politics and political correctness. I find crimes that are perpetrated against people because they belong to a minority as despicable as you likely do. I detest all of the isms, beginning with racism, and believe with all my heart in MLK’s iconic statement: “I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Still, what I care about as a juror is guilt or innocence. I care about what they did. What was in their heart is God’s jurisdiction. If they did it, convict. Take motives into consideration in sentencing, not in bringing charges or rendering verdicts.

If my friend or relative is murdered, I don’t need or want a prosecutor to insult my intelligence by telling me if the act was hateful. The hate crime classification is well-intentioned, but it’s just excess baggage for an already burdensome legal system.

I would give credit where credit is due, but my faulty memory can’t recall who I first heard suggest that flatulence should be declared a crime. In light of a world teetering on the brink of extinction because of cow farts, can we in good conscience ignore human contribution to the methane in our atmosphere?

There used to be a crude but biologically pertinent joke among senior citizens that you should never trust telemarketers or farts. Should we go a step farther and criminalize them? Enforcement would be difficult, and I’d feel bad for Taco Bell and Bush’s Beans, but with our civilization in the balance, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Burger King encouraged us to have it our way. Dad said my way or the highway. And America’s mainstream media is, at least along the US-Mexican border, determined to have it both ways. My enthusiasm for a border wall is tepid. But anyone with an open mind should be able to see that our internal struggles are 90 percent politics and 10 percent national security.

Let’s see if I have this straight. The border wall that Congress funded in the past under both Democratic and Republican presidents, was righteous. But adding to the wall now is stupid and immoral. The only thing more worrisome to me than a nation without borders is blatant hypocrisy from both parties, with Democrats more guilty in this one instance.

But back to the media. How seriously are we supposed to take a newspaper like the New York Times or a network like CNN when on the one hand they oppose The Great Wall of Trump with every fiber of their being; and then criticize a federal government that is overwhelmed by the flow of illegal entries a wall would mitigate,and mired in stupid, petty debate among politicians who clearly don’t care about anything but scoring points.

Pick a side. But it could not be more obvious that since Reagan’s amnesty more than 30 years ago, we have expressed false determination to bring about so-called comprehensive immigration reform. The voice of reason says we should enforce our laws or change them, secure the border first, and then address the way forward. Prospects aren’t good when we turn deaf ears to the voice of reason in favor of the mindless pap served up by career DC hacks the likes of Pelosi and McConnell.

Speaking of having it both ways, America remains as divided over 2nd Amendment issues as it is on border security. In some parts of the country, the notion of an armed teacher is met with fear, ridicule, even scorn. But in North Carolina there are discussions about possibly paying bonuses to teachers who undergo training and start packing heat on the job … An argument for another day.



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