Feel the Bern

Vermont Senator and self-professed political revolutionary Bernie Sanders is taking another run at the presidency. He’ll again make the effort as a Democrat, and apparently has gotten over DNC shenanigans favoring Hillary Clinton in 2016.

Mindful that he will be 80 years old on inauguration day, Sanders acknowledged that age could be an issue. Also mindful of complaints from female staffers of abusive behavior in the Sanders camp in ’16, Bernie reportedly is developing a list of “young chicks who can take a joke” for potential running mates.

Among contenders are Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Dianne Feinstein, both 85; Gloria Steinem, 84; Maxine Waters, 80; and Nancy Pelosi, 78.

Candidates from the celebrity left fringe include Jane Fonda, 80; Barbra Streisand, 76; and Billie Jean King, 75. Sanders has asked Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to an upcoming Capitol Hill Mixer, and admitted she was his first choice as a VP candidate.

“She’s old enough to drive, drink and vote,” he said, “but that silly damn piece of paper we call a Constitution is clearly discriminating against her youth. Heck, I forget more about government every day than she learns.

“I’d be crazy not to take advantage of our Democrat youth movement,” Sanders told an AARP member he mistook for an AP reporter. He then abruptly ended the interview.

“Sorry, but Meals on Wheels is here, and it’s Taco Tuesday,” he explained. “With a little ketchup, they’re pretty tasty…and I need those Spanish lingo voters. Comprendo, fraulein?”

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